As far as we know, all sentient animals have feelings. Anyone with a pet dog or cat will be well aware that they express feelings and are also sensitive to ours. Feelings are an early evolutionary biological mechanism for surviving and thriving. Even single-celled organisms will move towards food and away from heat. We can feel cold and hungry, as well as elated or low, energized or tired. There is a whole range of possible feelings, from the obvious to the subtle. It’s feelings that are closer to the subtle end of the spectrum that we are exploring here.
Our normal, everyday state tends to be one of being caught up in activities, unresolved issues, future plans, people, conversations, and so on, that spin around like particles in a snow globe. This draws our conscious energy and attention; not as we might like to think, into a clear and objective view of the world, but into a dynamically changing narrative, “The story of me” as it is today, bound together with feelings, thoughts and emotions.
The emotions we experience are a blend of feelings and thoughts. We can notice thoughts running through our heads and many of them are accessible to conscious awareness. When it comes to feelings, it’s like visiting a different country where we don’t know the language. Feelings can only be felt, then acknowledged, and interpreted with the mind. So, without being aware that a powerful feeling is present, it may colour our mood and experience, both positively and negatively.
Using a layered model of thoughts, emotions, feelings, and physical sensations, we can say that feelings are sensations that have some form of meaning. Of course, sensations, feelings, emotions, and thoughts are part of an intimately interconnected continuum that flows both ways. Feelings can affect thoughts and thoughts can affect feelings. We feel “butterflies in the stomach” because we’re excited or anxious; tight and heavy muscles around our jaw when we’re angry, or tightness and tension in our neck and shoulders when we’re a bit stressed. So, a good way to notice and acknowledge feelings is to be more aware of what’s going on in our bodies in the present moment. We can then explore the actual sensations with curiosity as well as thoughts, to find out what the feeling is about.
For example, we may be walking down the street and notice that a negative feeling has crept in; for some reason, we’re not feeling as good as when we left the house. Checking in with our body, we feel slightly heavy, a little bit low and there’s some tension around our chest and shoulders. We even notice that our posture has dropped slightly. We then realised that we just went to the cashpoint and our current balance was much lower than expected. By acknowledging the feelings and sensations, relaxing our chest and shoulders, and possibly responding with the positive thought that we get paid in a few days, the feelings dissipate and dissolve by the time we get home.
We tend to notice negative feelings more easily than positive ones. Working with negative feelings means allowing, acknowledging, and working with the feelings so that they go through their natural cycle. Evolution adapted feelings to be temporary things that arise, energize, and release. They come and go and are not who we are.
The good news with positive feelings is that when we really notice them, they amplify. The important thing is to focus your attention on the actual sensations, rather than the thoughts about what triggered the positive feeling. This is different from our impulse to try and hold onto the source of positive feelings, which is about the future, rather than the actual experience in the moment.
As an example, you may notice a beautiful sunset on the horizon and feel a strong sense of peace, contentment, and connection. Rather than having thoughts about not wanting the sun to disappear, simply connect with the positive feelings by bringing your attention and awareness to the physical sensations within your body, maybe feelings of lightness, tingling, and flowing energy. You can try this out easily by taking a moment to appreciate a beautiful flower or plant that may be nearby.
Liberating ourselves from holding onto and replaying negative and limiting feelings, thoughts, and emotions is an important focus of mindfulness practice. Also, we experience more positive feelings than we acknowledge or appreciate. These range from the mundane, a good cup of coffee, or lying in a comfortable bed ready for a good night’s sleep, to the cosmic, looking up and appreciating the stars in the visible universe. By working skilfully with negative feelings, we allow them to dissolve, and with positive feelings, we expand our experience of happiness and well-being.
Suggested weekly practice
- Get into the habit of checking what feelings are around during the day by asking, “What am I feeling now?” and seeing what arises.
- Acknowledge and move towards feelings and see if you can allow them to dissolve in their own time rather than holding onto them.
- Notice the push and pull impulse towards pleasant and unpleasant in your body and explore what happens when you create a bit of separation between who you are and these feelings.
Guidance
Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified, and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware.
There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes, or lower your gaze while the meditations play.
- Play the first settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
- Then play the second practice to explore and experience working with feelings.
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