Mind Archives - Page 2 of 21

Uncertainty

Many people see the world as more uncertain and chaotic than in the past. In our interconnected world, the 24-hour news cycle and instantaneous social media updates make us more aware of every conflict, crisis, and disaster. All this impacts on our perception in a negative and sometimes overwhelming and worrying way.

Not surprisingly, we all feel happier with certainty; that the sun will rise tomorrow and that all the people and things we appreciate, and maybe take for granted in our lives, will remain the same without dramatic change. We feel safe and secure when we experience a familiar continuity in our personal lives, at work, and in wider society. But life is full of surprises; nothing is permanent, and things change. Sometimes we can see change coming and adapt. At other times, change can be more uncertain, sudden, and complex, with no easy way of guessing what may happen next.

Recent archeological research found that our ancient ancestors almost became extinct in Europe when they emerged from the last ice age, around 10,000 years ago. Although they experienced threats from wild animals and occasionally from competing groups, they lived in relative peace in small local communities for thousands of years. Their livelihood was not threatened by geopolitical instability, turbulence in the financial sector, or our modern-day climate crisis.

Today, when we’re under pressure we produce the same stress response that evolved all that time ago. This triggers the physiological changes that put us in the fight-or-flight mode as if we were confronting a dangerous predator. As well as stress, we also share the same feelings of fear and anxiety as our distant ancestors. In our case, these are more often a response to uncertainties about the future, than an immediate physical threat. The fact that our brain and physiology are wired to respond to threats in our environment leads to what’s called the “negativity bias”. This effect causes negative things, like unpleasant feelings, thoughts, or events to have a much greater subjective impact than something equally positive.

When we are presented with negative news our brains naturally start working through various future scenarios to explore possible outcomes. As we identify outcomes, we then start problem-solving in our heads. For instance, with the news of the steep rise in the overall cost of living, our mind gets busy, “What if I can’t afford to pay the bills, is my job safe, how will I support my family?”, and so on. With this behaviour, it’s useful to distinguish between intentional and conscious “thinking-on-purpose”, and unintentional and semi-conscious thinking when our mind wanders. The former can really help us prepare for change and discover practical solutions. The latter is what is commonly called “worrying”, which raises our level of anxiety and stress.

So how can practising mindfulness help when we encounter uncertainty?

Awareness: With mindful awareness, we’re better able to notice where our attention is, as well as the quality of our thoughts. Entertaining persistent worrying and anxious thoughts amplify and energize the feelings of anxiety and stress. The solution is to acknowledge the thoughts and label them, saying to yourself for instance, “Given this situation, I’m not surprised there are anxious thoughts, but that’s enough for now, thank you”. Then bring yourself into the present moment by connecting with your body and senses, directing your attention out to the world around you.
Acceptance: Rather than accepting the reality of a situation, we sometimes habitually resist or avoid difficulties and challenges. Acceptance means consciously allowing things to be as they already are. This does not mean being a passive victim; sometimes it’s appropriate to feel angry and frustrated. But if we channel our anger into resistance, we end up pushing back on a reality we may have no power to change. By practising acceptance and working with reality as it is, we’re more likely to find an easier and more effective path through difficulty.
Acknowledging emotions: Similarly, when we notice anxiety and stress in our lives, we can work with these emotions more effectively by consciously allowing them to be just as they are. Maybe say to yourself, “There’s some anxiety about the future” and embrace and acknowledge the feeling in your body with curiosity and kindness. The alternative is to fail to notice how we feel and avoid emotions. Resisting and avoiding how we feel just leaves the emotions unacknowledged, so they become held and play out in the background of our experience for much longer.

Responding skilfully to uncertainty when it appears in our lives takes awareness of thoughts and feelings as well as acceptance and emotional resilience. Either we’re caught up in restless agitation and worry, or we manage to create some space and distance between who we are and our thoughts and feelings. When we come to our senses and connect with the present moment, beyond the content of thoughts and emotions, we discover the calm stability and balance that allows us to respond more skilfully to life’s challenges as they arise.

Suggested weekly practice

Notice how you subjectively react to the news on radio, TV or internet within your body, feelings, and thoughts
Explore finding and establishing stability and balance, maybe playing the mountain meditation during the week
Practising acceptance, acknowledging and releasing emotions and letting go of worrying thoughts when you encounter uncertainty.

Guidance
Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified, and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware.
There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes, or lower your gaze while the meditations play.

Play the settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
Then play the second one where you’re invited to explore and experience stability and balance in the face of change and uncertainty.

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Happiness

We all know that happiness is important. Happiness is about positive well-being, feeling a sense of purpose and satisfaction with our lives, and wanting things to continue as they are. Unhappiness is the reverse when our sense of well-being, purpose, and life satisfaction are low, and we want things to be different.

Life does not always go the way we hope it will. Sometimes relationships run into difficulties, we may find ourselves out of work, or a loved one becomes seriously ill. It is natural to feel sadness, anxiety, and anger when we encounter problems, but how can we expect to be happy when things like this are happening in our lives?

Happiness goes a lot deeper than an emotion or mood, which are more like waves and currents on the ocean’s surface. Although positive emotions like joy and contentment are important to happiness, there is also a foundational sense of well-being and a meaningful connection with life. This foundation of happiness supports the good times, as well as provides the resilience to cope when life gets difficult.

Several things contribute to our happiness. These include physical and mental health, relationships and society, work and activities, genetics and upbringing, and income. Of all these factors, the amount of income has the least impact on happiness. Research shows that, once basic needs are met, there is no direct link between wealth and happiness. One famous study that compared lottery winners with people who became paralyzed in an accident found little difference in their levels of happiness a year later. Recent research on happiness during the pandemic shows that, although there has been an increase in anxiety and sadness, life satisfaction has remained the same and many people reported feeling happier. This could be down to more family time and avoiding the daily commute.

A big misconception in Western society is that if only we could get what we want, then we would be happy. For decades, the advertising industry has used social comparison to motivate consumers. If only I drove that car, lived in that beautiful house, and ate those chocolates, on that lovely new sofa – then I would be happy. Recent research shows that things work the other way around; happiness comes before success. Being happy is a means, rather than an end. We are more successful when we embrace positive well-being and happiness, which makes us more energized, motivated, engaged, creative, resilient, and productive. There is also evidence that happier organisations are more successful and that their employees are more productive.

So, what has happiness got to do with mindfulness and how does practising mindfulness help?

Harvard University conducted some interesting research to see what makes people happy. Over 15,000 people across eighty countries used an iPhone app that prompted them on what they were doing, how they felt, and where their attention was in that moment. The results show that people’s attention was off in thought, away from the present task around 48 percent of the time. And when people drifted off in thought they reported being less happy, no matter what they were doing. Even when people let their minds wander to pleasant thoughts, they were less happy than when their attention was on what they were doing in the moment.

Some of the ways that mindfulness supports positive well-being and happiness include:

Presence: Connecting with our present-moment reality, rather than drifting off in thought about the past or future. Noticing when our mind wanders and returning our attention to the present is an important foundation of mindfulness practice.
Gratitude: Expressing appreciation and gratitude for what we already have, rather than what we do not have that we think might make us happy. Our lives get so busy that we can easily take many things for granted, for instance, our health, access to decent food, friends and family, and where we live in the world.
Responding rather than reacting: Practising mindfulness changes the way we relate to our experience, from an unconscious and habitual reaction to a conscious and skilful response.
Kindness and compassion: Practising kindness and compassion to others, as well as with ourselves, and offering help and support where it is needed.
Acceptance: About finding the easier path through difficulty by embracing and working with reality as it is. Rather than habitually resisting or avoiding, we learn to proactively accept and work with unwanted experiences.

By taking this approach, we find the resilience to overcome difficulties and appreciate what’s important in our lives, which is the foundation for positive well-being and happiness.

Suggested weekly practice

Explore what promotes and what hinders positive well-being and happiness for you.
Bring to mind three things that you can be grateful for before you go to sleep and when you first awake each morning.
Try practising acceptance by embracing whatever arises in your experience as if you had chosen it.

Guided practice

Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware.
There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes, or lower your gaze while the meditations play.

Play the first settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
Then play the second practice to explore and experience positive well-being, energy and aliveness, gratitude, kindness and compassion.

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Lightness of being

Milan Kundera’s Kundera’s 1984 novel, The Unbearable Lightness of Being is set in the Prague Spring era of 1968. The “lightness of being” refers to a sense of freedom; the characters have one life to live and everything that happens to them is unique and occurs once in a lifetime. The unbearable lightness refers to the weightlessness of the unique choices we make. The novel explores the paradox of lightness versus heaviness. Does a sense of lightness make life less significant, or does feeling the burden of life make it more meaningful? Philosophy and fiction aside, when we examine our own lives, we can see times of lightness and times when life seems heavy. Maybe we’re on holiday and really relaxed and all is well with our world. Or we’re under pressure at work and in our home life, with difficulties and so much going on that we feel overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious.

When we stop for a moment during the day and really take the time to check in with ourselves, we will find that a lot is going on in the background of our experience. Parts of our body may be tight and tense, tired and heavy. Our mind may be restless, with some anxious or depleting thoughts about our story or situation, but the mind does not know what to do with itself. One quite common experience is a quiet feeling of unease hovering in the background, as if either we’ve done something wrong, or something is wrong with our situation, but we can’t quite remember what it was. Does any of this sound familiar? When we’re under pressure this restless, slightly uneasy, and heavy state is a common experience. As if the force of gravity is pulling us down.

During the day it’s natural that we come across difficulties and challenges. These could be anything from a train delay, a bad-tempered response from a colleague, or an unwanted, difficult email. Maybe there’s some future worry that’s been hanging around unresolved. Or perhaps we had a disagreement with our partner before we left the house? All these events cause us to react emotionally as well as physically in some way. They may well lead to a stream of thoughts that keep the emotions energized in a vicious spiral. And every little challenge is stacked on top of what we’re already holding in ourselves at that moment. Like adding more rocks into the overly heavy rucksack on our back.

Sometimes feeling like this happens every day, so becomes normalized. And what becomes normal slips into the background and becomes less visible. If we discover that we’re in a state like this, do we just accept that’s the way things are, or is it possible to lift ourselves out and defy the gravity of these self-imposed burdens?

The good news is that we can change this way of being, by being more aware of what’s going on, and letting go of clinging onto feelings and thoughts that are not serving us in this moment. This does not mean that the challenges go away by themselves, or that problems do not need to be resolved. We can work through these and find solutions at another time, but it’s not necessary to carry this accumulated burden of restlessness and unease around with us now. Beneath the layers of agitation, restlessness, stress, low mood, and anxiety we can discover a lightness of being that’s quietly waiting in the background of our experience.

Next time you discover that you’re feeling a bit heavy, take a short break and go outside if you can:

Start by noticing and acknowledging the whole tangled state of feelings, thoughts, and physical tensions that limit and weigh down who you are in this moment.
Then take a deep breath and see if you can let go of the whole illusion. Like a plane rising above the clouds.
Allow a half-smile to appear on the corners of your mouth, as you take another deep breath.
Ask yourself, “What problems do I have at this moment?”
Already feeling lighter – reaching out to the world around you through your senses.
Noticing the beautiful colours in nature and the play of light from the sun.
Looking up at the broad, open sky and expanding your hearing out as far as it will go.
Connecting with a sense of spaciousness and stillness and feeling full of vitality and aliveness.
As you take a walk, notice how your body supports your weight so that each footstep feels as if you’re almost defying gravity, reinforcing your lightness of being.

In our modern world many of us fulfil multiple roles; our role at work, as a parent, supportive sibling, carer to aging parents, helping friends and family and contributing to the local community, or broader society. It’s easy to take on too much and become stressed and overwhelmed. When the pressure and heaviness build up, we need to protect our precious well-being with awareness, self-compassion, peace, and calm in the lightness of being.

Suggested weekly practice

Set the intention to live lightly during the week, living with ease by practising acceptance rather than resistance and flowing with your experience.
Noticing when tension, tightness, and heaviness start to appear during the day and taking time to relax, release, and let go.
When you’re walking notice how light your body can feel as the muscles work, putting a spring in your step.

Guided practice

Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware.
Play the first settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
Then close your eyes while this meditation plays to explore the lightness of being.

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Positive mind-wandering

The world of science is full of “Eureka” moments, where a sudden insight or solution to a problem suddenly appears in the mind, from the story of Archimedes in the bathtub to Newton’s apple and Einstein’s theory of relativity.

There are two modes of thinking, intentional and unintentional. Intentional thinking is thinking on purpose, including planning, analysis, and problem-solving. Unintentional thinking is when our attention is drawn towards automatic thoughts when our mind wanders away from what we are doing in the present. The thoughts that arise when our mind wanders can be negative, positive, or neutral and about the past, present, or future. Unintentional automatic thoughts tend to be more negative for several reasons:

Our brains evolved with an inbuilt negativity bias, which accentuates things that are threatening, or unpleasant, over things that are safe and pleasant.
Like many social media algorithms, automatic thoughts are subject to the law of entropy, so degrade from order to disorder.
They may be negative repeating habit patterns or beliefs about ourselves and our story. For instance, “I’m not attractive, successful, or intelligent enough”.

Neuroscientists have discovered a part of the brain called the default mode network that becomes active when there is not much going on, for instance, cleaning our teeth or taking a shower. The default mode network switches our attention to internal dialogue, similar to a smart speaker, like Amazon’s Alexa in our heads. This internal dialogue tells us things like, “Still haven’t organized that holiday. Not looking at my best today. Are those bags under my eyes getting worse? This mirror needs cleaning…”

The latest research on mind-wandering explores the idea that we have an unconscious monitoring function that scans our mental content just below awareness and automatically switches it into attention in moments of apparent downtime. This function alerts us to unresolved activities and unfinished business that may be useful in the future, as well as habitual past and present-moment commentary about us and our situation. So, for example, our attention may be drifting when driving a car as our mind wanders to explore pre-conscious mental content about who we are meeting at the destination.

Some automatic thoughts can be positive, expanding, and nurturing and others can be negative, limiting and depleting. A big part of mindfulness practice is about noticing and observing these as they pass through the mind with what is called meta-awareness – the awareness of the content of our conscious experience.

Like the eureka moments, positive automatic thoughts can help us solve complex problems as well as be creative. Positive mind-wandering plays an important and inspiring role in many creative and performing arts, including music, literature, painting, acting, and photography. Interestingly, some artists, poets, and writers use daydreaming as part of the creative process. Obviously, they must remain aware and awake while they drift off. So maybe all those times when your attention drifted off in the classroom at school, or in those overly long meetings at work, can now be justified!

The human brain is the most complex object in the known universe and is amazingly powerful. One well-known technique for solving difficult problems is to send a well-formed question to the back of our minds and wait for the answer to percolate. For instance, asking “How can I overcome the block on the project I’m working on?” and then move on to something else. The chances are that sometime later, maybe when you are walking the dog or taking a shower, a useful answer pops into your head.

When we practise mindfulness, we learn to become more aware of and notice when our mind wanders. This is not so that we stop this activity or block thoughts; it’s to step back and gain insight and understanding of how our mind operates. Without awareness, negative automatic thoughts define and limit who we are, and we miss the positive, useful, and creative ideas and insights that emerge. So being more aware of both positive and negative mind-wandering can make a real difference to our wellbeing and performance.

Suggested weekly practice

Use curiosity and awareness to observe whether your mind works in the ways described above and see what insights emerge.
Have a go at solving a difficult problem by sending a well-formed question to the back of your mind, leaving it to percolate and see what happens.
Watch your automatic thoughts and observe whether they are useful positive, expanding, and nurturing or negative, limiting, and depleting.

Guided practice

Play the settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
Then close your eyes while this meditation plays that starts with noticing sounds and then explores noticing thoughts.

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Emotional resilience

Anyone who watches the news knows that the world is not in a good place now. With escalating conflicts, political and economic uncertainty, and environmental devastation. The climate crisis is already changing the lives of many people across the world; from coping and recovering from extreme weather, wildfires, floods, and droughts. As well as the practical and physical health responses to these disasters, providing psychological and emotional help, support and guidance is now an important focus for researchers and public health professionals.

On an individual level, we all encounter the challenges that life throws at us at work and in our personal lives. We cope with adversity in different ways; some people seem to flow through difficulties relatively unscathed, while others appear to crumble under the burden. As with many things in life, it’s not just the event, it’s how we react and relate to the difficulty that makes a difference.

In material science, resilience is the ability of a material to absorb energy when it’s bent, compressed, or stretched and release energy and bounce back as the force subsides. Similarly, developing emotional resilience allows us to absorb adversity, stress, and pressure by being more flexible and skilful in managing our thoughts, emotions, behaviour, and relationships. This allows us to emerge stronger, wiser, and with a positive outlook on life.

Before going through what it means to practise resilience, it’s useful to explore what typically happens when we encounter difficulty. For example, an email arrives with some bad news at work. The first thing we normally do is react unconsciously. Emotions are much faster than thoughts, so strong feelings like anger or anxiety are the first to appear. At the same time, our body may become tight and tense as the flight-or-fight response is triggered. Then thoughts appear that reflect the feelings, for instance, thoughts about who’s to blame, self-criticism, or worry. As we entertain these thoughts two things happen. The first is that our attention on critical and worrying thoughts amplifies feelings of anger and anxiety. The second is that we identify with the whole state which includes the emotions, agitated thoughts, and physical tension, which intensifies how we feel. When we are stressed or experience strong emotions like anger or anxiety, we lose the inner resources, like thinking clearly, that would otherwise help us respond more skilfully, so we tend to react automatically, which rarely serves us, other people, or the situation well.

Bringing resilience to the same situation requires some important missing ingredients. The key one is our awareness and focus on what’s happening in the present moment. So, we notice, acknowledge, and allow the feelings that arise in our bodies as we start to read the email. We may even label the emotions, for instance, “There’s some anger and anxiety”. When thoughts appear, we’re ready to observe them, maybe even noting them as, “Angry, self-critical and worrying thoughts”, or “Useful and constructive thoughts”. Rather than automatically identifying with the state, we know that we’re not our thoughts and emotions, which makes it easier to let go of limiting thoughts and beliefs. This stops the emotions from being amplified by our thoughts in a vicious spiral. Realizing the challenging situation, we can create some inner space by taking a brief pause, for instance, by taking a couple of aware breaths and relaxing tension in the body.

This gives us a more open perspective that allows us to respond more flexibly and skilfully. This does not mean that we become passive victims and accept things that are wrong or unfair in the world without acting. Quite the reverse; from an aware place we can use the energy from the emotions to drive us to act and explore a range of solutions with an attitude of realistic optimism. By responding in this way, we are better placed to act skilfully and appropriately.

Cultivating and practising mindfulness skills can help us develop resilience in all areas of our lives. Other mindfulness skills like practising patience, gratitude, and kindness are also relevant and useful. Having access to caring friends and family in a support network is also important. All of this relies on using the right skills when challenges arise. Although it’s not easy, the next time you experience a difficult event or situation, start by quickly tuning into your body and how it feels, before being drawn into worrying and angry thoughts, and being more skilful in how you respond and see what difference that makes.

Suggested weekly practice

Explore what happens in your body, emotions, and mind when you next experience a challenging or stressful event.
When you react, take a moment to reflect on whether how you reacted served you, other people, or the situation. Did you notice that there was a choice of options, including one that may have been a more skilful response?
Reflect on the health of your social support network, especially given the limitations of the pandemic, and take positive action if it needs improvement.

Guidance
Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified, and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware. There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes, or lower your gaze while the meditations play.

Play the settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
Then close your eyes while this meditation plays to explore and experience using skills that help develop emotional resilience.

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