Resistance occurs in an electric circuit when the flow of energy is opposed and limited. With physical objects, resistance comes in the form of friction, like the brakes on a car. We experience resistance when we push back on something we do not like; for instance, a friend spontaneously invites us to an event at short notice when we already planned to have a quiet and relaxing evening at home.
There are the raw events of experience and then what we bring to them; how we react internally as we engage with the world. And like the electric circuit and the car brake, when we resist, we oppose the flow of energy and bring friction into our experience. Resistance is the opposite of open acceptance; “going with the flow”, working with ease with whatever arises. It’s not that we have to agree to everything; for instance, changing our plans at late notice may not be convenient. But it’s one thing to take a conscious and considered view and another to automatically react defensively with resistance.
Even though we’re easily able to justify our reasons for resisting what we say and think, almost all our impulses to resist start from the bottom-up, within our body and outside of conscious awareness. For millions of years of evolution, organisms developed the capacity to move towards the pleasant and avoid the unpleasant. These basic instincts, developed over millennia through natural selection, drive primary feelings like fear, which operates in an evolutionarily older part of the brain. This is what psychologists call the ‘negativity bias’, where the brain reacts quickly to anything that appears remotely threatening, negative, or unpleasant. If we’re walking in the woods and see a long thin shape on the path, our brain stem may trigger a fear alert that it’s a snake, way before our visual system properly identifies it as a wooden stick.
The increased level of activation in the brain means that negative and unpleasant experiences make a stronger imprint in our memory than positive and pleasant ones. This is why our memory for negative and unpleasant experiences is like Velcro, and Teflon for positive and pleasant ones. The first stage of reactive resistance is very fast and outside our conscious control. Once it’s activated, the body becomes tense and emotions like anger and anxiety may be triggered, followed by thoughts that do their best to make sense of the experience.
Not surprisingly, once we’ve experienced sensations, perceptions, emotions, and thoughts about what we’re resisting, we’re more likely to identify with it. Identifying with our resistance validates and reinforces how we reacted, which makes it more difficult to step back and observe what’s really going on. And it’s not always negative things or events that cause us to react in this way. Resistance can also be triggered by potentially pleasant events that for whatever reason, do not resonate positively with us.
So, how can practising mindfulness help overcome reactive resistance and help us identify old habit patterns that no longer serve us?
Here are some tips:
- Becoming more aware and understanding of our impulse to push against our experience
- Getting in early by noticing the first signs of physical tightness and feelings when they first arise
- Using curiosity and openness to explore why some things may be seen as a threat
- Seeing if the reaction is replaying old habit patterns that no longer serve us
- Using skills, like pausing mindfully between tasks, to create the space to respond skilfully, rather than reacting automatically
When we identify, hold onto, and replay our resistant reactions, we reinforce the pattern, as, ‘what we resist persists.’ The Greek legend of Sisyphus, condemned by the gods to repeatedly push a boulder up a hill only to have it roll down again for eternity, is a useful metaphor for how resisting does not always serve us. It’s useful to acknowledge that when we react with resistance, we push back on and limit the flow of energy in our lives. By letting go of resistance, we allow energy to flow, are more open to possibilities, and discover greater ease, which leads to a happier and more fulfilling life.
Suggested weekly practice
- Notice the next time you find yourself resisting something and observe the physical sensations, feelings, and thoughts, as well as how you identify with them.
- Every time you decline an experience, even something trivial like an offer of a biscuit, reflect for a moment and ask yourself, “What awful catastrophe will unfold if I simply go with the flow on this?”
- If you’re resisting what other people consider a positive experience, say, “Yes” and see what happens.
Guidance
Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified, and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware. There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes, or lower your gaze while the meditations play.
- Play the first settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
- Then play the second practice to explore resistance in action, firstly by noticing any resistance that’s already here, then replaying a recent experience where you experienced resistance.
Share on
