Emotions bring energy, meaning, and connection and are part of life’s rich experience. They come in a range of forms; some positive, some negative, and some neutral. Sometimes different emotions appear together, or one emotion can lead to another. Emotions tend to be triggered by an event, which causes chemicals to be released in the body and can last from seconds to minutes, hours, or days. or even longer. We can also trigger emotions from our thoughts. For instance, thinking, “I’m not good enough” and feeling our self-worth deflate, which is one reason why the mind is so powerful.
Although emotions and feelings are often referred to as the same thing, feelings are physical sensations with some form of meaning, and emotions bridge feelings and thoughts. A helpful way to see the difference is to work bottom-up from physical sensations, feelings, emotions then thoughts. For instance, someone criticizes what we have done. The first thing that happens is that our body tightens up and contracts with tension, and as anger quickly arises, we may have angry or defensive thoughts and experience the impulse to react.
Emotions can be understood as an earlier evolutionary system for interacting with the world than thinking, which emerged later as language developed. The three basic evolutionary purposes of emotions are that they:
- Alert us to something that needs attention.
- Drive us to act and prepare the body for action.
- Communicate how we feel to others.
Emotion is energy in motion. When the energy is allowed to follow its natural course, like many things, including the sound of a bell, it arises, sustains for a while, and then releases. As humans, we tend to get in the way of this natural flow with our thoughts, so the energy becomes blocked, or held, in our bodies. And when the emotions stay with us, they end up overlaying previously held emotions. A bit like covering an apple in cling film; we’ve been layering over some of these emotions since childhood. After a few layers, it’s hard to see the surface of the apple properly. So, we can end up carrying a burden of held emotions, layered on top of who we really are. We become so accustomed to holding emotions that they become part of the unnoticed normal, everyday background of our experience.
Working skilfully with emotions means:
- Being intentionally present, so that we notice the emotion as it arises.
- Acknowledging physical sensations as an early warning, like a tightness around the chest and jaw.
- Allowing the feelings to be as they are, without resisting or avoiding what arises.
- Noticing the impulse to act on the emotion, without reacting automatically.
- Watching our thoughts, without judging or following negative trains of thought.
- Maybe naming the emotion with a bit of distance, without overly identifying with it, for instance, “There’s some frustration”.
- Remembering that we are not our emotions and that emotions come and go.
- Like riding a wave, allowing emotions to arise, play out, and dissolve.
- Bringing our attention and awareness to our breath and body.
- Feeling grounded, open and aware, stable and balanced in the here and now.
When we practise mindfulness, we can use this understanding and guidance to help us shift from a mechanical relationship, where emotions are something that happens to us, a burden we have to carry – to a more intentional awareness of how we feel, where emotions inform and flow through us. Taking this approach not only frees us from carrying emotions that no longer serve us, but also improves our overall health, happiness, and wellbeing.
Suggested weekly practice
- Notice, acknowledge, and work with emotions more skilfully during the week.
- Use curiosity to explore the connection between sensations in the body, feelings, emotions, and thoughts.
- Explore using your awareness of emotions as a useful resource that provides an early warning that something needs attention, as well as alerting you to a potential automatic reaction. For instance, noticing and acknowledging anger but choosing not to act on the emotion as you respond more skilfully in a situation.
Guided practice
Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware. There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes, or lower your gaze while the meditations play.
- Play the settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
- Then play the second practice to explore and experience a more mindful approach to emotions.
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