Ease means doing things without difficulty or effort, as well as being free from pain or worry. If only life was easy. Some days life can seem like an uphill struggle. For instance, rushing around late for an appointment, losing the car keys, or discovering that the trains are delayed. At times like these, we feel hot and bothered – as if life is conspiring against us.
Then on other days, everything seems to click into place; the sun shines, and even strangers smile and say hello – as if we’ve somehow stumbled into a secret golden seam of life. Of course, it’s unrealistic to expect every experience to flow with ease, as we are bound to encounter challenges and difficulties in our lives. However, there are many things that we can do to make our lives easier.
One way to look at living with ease is to focus on areas of friction. The oil in a car engine reduces friction and allows the engine to run efficiently. Without oil, the engine would soon overheat and seize up. Similarly, we also experience friction in our lives, not only from difficult situations but also from the friction we add ourselves.
For instance, if we experience stress, anxiety, or low mood at work, it’s no surprise that other areas of our life seem more difficult. Sometimes we may sleep badly, and our minds can become full of restless or agitated thoughts. When we are tired and stressed, we tend to have more conflicts with other people and our relationships suffer. We also react automatically and end up resisting or avoiding challenging situations that we would otherwise take in our stride.
As well as reducing stress, anxiety, and low mood, mindfulness can also help us find greater ease in our lives. We can use mindful awareness right at the beginning of the day, even before we get out of bed, by bringing our attention to our body, breath, and senses and away from all the thoughts that would otherwise dominate our attention. We can also remind ourselves to remain calm and alert during the day, noticing when tiredness kicks in or our awareness drops. We can also include time to pause, return to mindful awareness, and let go of any agitation or stress, by taking a break between meetings, for example.
Mindfulness is about working skilfully with our experience in the present moment, which means creating the space to remain calm and alert so that we can respond with openness, flexibility, and kindness to whatever arises.
With tasks, this means doing one thing at a time and holding our attention on where the work gets done while staying alert to distractions. So, if we’re peeling potatoes, holding our attention to where the knife peels away the skin, aware of the sensations in our hands and the smell of the earth. We can apply the same principle to any activity, for instance, typing on a keyboard and watching the words form on the screen, or listening and talking.
Bringing greater ease with people and relationships is another important area where we can work skilfully. Actively listening to others with openness, patience, and kindness and creating space to respond skilfully rather than react automatically, makes a significant difference. Before you respond, take a moment to consider if the response serves you and the other people involved. Sometimes it’s wiser not to say anything. Also, make sure you connect with the full human being in front of you and not a thought-based cardboard cut-out; really seeing rather than seeing superficially.
There is also a range of practical things we can do to bring greater ease to our lives. For instance, with our reliance on technology, it’s also worth taking the time to master the tools and devices we use daily, which are a common cause of friction for many. We also experience friction through lack of preparation and thinking things through in advance, for instance not fully planning a journey before we set off.
Another thing that helps oil the wheels is finding the humour in life’s challenges and putting a smile on our faces. A smile induces physiological changes that can help reduce stress, lighten our mood, and have a positive effect on people around us. It’s interesting that in psychological research on faces, there’s a high correlation between whether someone is smiling and reported subjective measures of attractiveness.
Life is not always easy. Successfully negotiating and learning from the challenges and conflicts that arise are all part of what it means to be human. Working skilfully with the present moment of experience, together with taking a range of practical steps, can oil the wheels and help us live with greater ease.
Suggested weekly practice
- Start the day off well, by getting a good night’s sleep, connecting with the aliveness in your body when you first awake, appreciating and feeling gratitude, and establishing a regular meditation practice before the main activities of the day.
- When things go wrong, watch out for adding friction on top of friction.
- Make things easier for your “future self” by preparing what you need the next day the night before, putting things away where you can find them later, or paying attention to where you place important things like your keys, purse, wallet, or glasses.
Guidance
Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware.
There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes or lower your gaze while the meditations play.
- Play the settling practice, then read the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
- Then play the second practice to explore living with ease.
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