Although we all want to feel a sense of well-being, this is not always our everyday experience. Some of the time we experience stress, anxiety, frustration, and limitation; often borne out of the reactive habit patterns that no longer serve us.
An important part of mindfulness is to protect and cultivate our well-being so that we can respond skilfully to what arises with awareness, openness, and kindness. Protective awareness means noticing and acknowledging anything that does not support our well-being in the present moment, and then setting a clear intention to stop and change direction. For instance, we may be driving along peacefully when the car driver behind sounds their horn in annoyance for some reason. We immediately become stressed and annoyed. We may feel like we may have done something wrong and experience the impulse to react in some way. Our body tightens and we entertain thoughts of what we would like to say to the driver. We feel unsettled as we drive on and after a while realize that the car behind us has long gone. These micro-assaults on our well-being and our reactive impulses can happen every day, often without being fully noticed.
Like the wise security guard or gatekeeper who protects the entrance of an important building, we can allow entry to what is useful, positive, expanding, and nurturing our well-being and turn away what is not useful, negative, limiting, and depleting our well-being. When we notice that our attention is entertaining a negative automatic thought that does not serve us, we can acknowledge what’s happening and withdraw our attention. Not fully engaging with unhelpful content is called wise avoidance. The easiest way to do this is to switch our attention to our body, breath, and senses, away from the pull of the mind.
So, what are we looking out for and protecting against? The answer is anything that does not support our well-being, emotional stability, peace, and calm, which includes:
- Automatic rumination and negative thoughts, like worry, or low self-worth
- Negative feelings, emotions, and moods, like anxiety and feeling unworthy may be triggered by these thoughts
- Automatic impulses and reactivity, like getting frustrated or annoyed
- Unhelpful habit patterns that no longer serve us or others
So how can we do all of this while operating in the world? Life is complicated and there are conflicts and difficulties. We are not always as aware of what is going on as we would like. The truth is that transforming the way we relate to our experience takes time, effort, insight, and intention.
Protective awareness is about:
- Awareness – noticing what is going on for us in the flowing moment, by simply observing and bearing witness to our experience.
- Discernment – noticing and knowing the difference between what supports and what depletes our well-being – acting as the wise gatekeeper.
- Curiosity – investigating openly, wanting to learn and know more, and being inquisitive.
Science tells us that the human brain and mind are one of the most complex systems in the known universe. Interestingly, our mind feeds us what we pay attention to. Like the algorithm on YouTube, our mind serves us what we seem to like and habitually return to. In the case of negative automatic thoughts, moods, and habit patterns, this is not useful for nurturing and sustaining our well-being. With protective awareness, we can start to loosen these previously unseen mechanisms.
We can know that we are not our thoughts and that we are not our emotions, as they come and go, and do not define who we are. Although they may be about us, we no longer need to identify with them as if, “this is how I am.” With protective awareness, we can transform our well-being and improve our resilience by becoming less vulnerable to identifying with unhealthy habit patterns.
Suggested weekly practice
- Remember to notice your state of well-being during the day. Ask, “What’s going on for me now” and “What does this moment need?”
- Watch out for harmful reactive habit patterns or moods that degrade your well-being during the day.
- Be like the wise gatekeeper and allow entry to what is useful, positive, expanding, and nurturing your well-being, and turn away what is not useful, negative, limiting, and depleting your well-being.
Guidance
Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified, and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware. There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes or lower your gaze while the meditations play.
- Play the first settling practice, then read through the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
- Then play the second practice to explore and experience protective awareness.
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